


Spires of Weyr

by BananaRaptor



Series: Spacemarried: A Sexy Odyssey [2]
Category: Dragonriders of Pern - Anne McCaffrey, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Trek, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Crossover, Disabilities, Dragons, Fluff and Angst, Gay Bashing, Homophobia, M/M, Magical Healing Cock, Manly Tears, Oppression, Oral Sex, Outer Space, Threesome - M/M/M, soulbonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 21:32:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananaRaptor/pseuds/BananaRaptor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock and Dobby's blissful space honeymoon lead them to a new and exciting planet with new and exciting adventures. They also meet a new friend who desperately needs help.</p><p>... SEXY help!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spires of Weyr

Spock and Dobby were adventuring on the starship Voyager and having hot space buttsex. Dobby was making sweet love to Spocks pink lovehole while he moaned passionately. 

“Oh Spock, Dobby has never been so happy now that we’re gay space-married!” 

“Oh Dobby being happy is very logical, since we’re so in love!” Spock moaned back.

“We should have a space honeymoon!” Dobby squeaked as he reached climax and coated Spocks insides with his houseelfmanjuice. Spock also came, his cock squirting a fountain of cum. 

“We should have a honeymoon on Weyr.” Spock said happily basking in the afterglow. “It’s a dragon planet and it’s really romantic.” 

And then they went and said to their friends they were going on a honeymoon. 

~*~

On the bridge Captain Kirk was steering the ship and having alien sex with like six aliens because he was just that hot, while the others were doing less important things because they were not as awesome. 

“We’re going on a honeymoon to the planet Weyr,” said Spock, “Can you beam us down?” 

“Yes,” said Kirk as he ejaculated on the face of an alien, “As sure as my name is Captain Kirk Picard!” 

And then they landed the Voyager on the planet Weyr and beamed Spock and Dobby out to have their honeymoon. 

~*~

Meanwhile elsewhere Darth Vader cried a single crystalline tear, because he was really sad. But also a little because it was kind of hard to cry through his helmet. 

As he flew his x-wing aimlessly through the wide star spattered expanse of the universe, wanting to be alone where the stormtroopers couldn’t laugh at him, he thought about how everyone had been mean to him today and ate some fruit to cheer himself up.

The emperor had yelled at him for the death star being blown up and shot magic missles at him even though he’d done his best, Luke didn’t want to be a sith with him and support his life choices which is a really hurtful thing to do, and how he’d never really found love (cuz Padme was a SKANKY HOE who didn’t love him at all!) and all the problems were swimming in his head and crawling in his skin, and also his orange wouldn’t peel! 

So he cried another crystalline tear, and bravely landed on the closest planet to find a bathroom even though they’d probably be unfair and oppress him for his life choices there too. 

But the planet was Weyr and full of dragons.

~*~

Meanwhile Spock and Dobby bought some souvenirs and had fun and stuff and then they had sex because this story is boring and needs more hawt smex. 

So hiding behind a bush Dobby put his manly (houseelfly?) gigantic mansausage into Spocks rosebud of love. He pumped rhythmically and forcefully. 

“Oooh yes!” Spock moaned.

“Fuck OOOH OOOH OOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHEEDZFYGHJGFUH” Dobby moaned also, and then he tweaked Spocks nipple so he came all over himself. Seeing the Vulcano’s seed all over his chest made Dobby cum too with an “OOOOOOOH” before collapsing on his spent lover.

And they cuddled up behind the tree, covered in spunk. 

“Best honeymoon ever!” they agreed.

~*~

Back at the bathroom Darth Vader had managed to pull himself together, bravely, in the face of oppression. He took some toilet paper and wiped the tears off his mask (which was easy because he’d only cried the manly single crystalline ones) when suddenly a dragon burst in.

“Hey Someone’s in here!” Vader yelled, “It’s really rude to come in without knocking!” 

“RAAAAARG!” said the dragon and attacked him, breathing fire on him.

“Nooooo” said Darth Vader and got triggered so he sat down shaking and cried more manly single crystalline tears.

“RARG!” roared the dragon again and breathed more fire! It all looked like this would be the end of Darth Vader, but at least, he thought, the emperor would regret being such a butthead when he found out.

BUT SUDDENLY ANOTHER DRAGON BURST IN! and it was a beautiful bronze dragon with gold and silver spots and stripes and tribal tattoo markings and a pretty flowing mane, and it attacked the first dragon and breathed fire on it! 

And the dragons fought, but the bronze dragon won and killed the mean dragon! 

“IT’ OKAY I’VE KILLED THE MEANIE-HEAD!” the dragon said telepathically to Darth Vader.

“Oh thank you!” Vader said, “You saved me! How can I ever repay you?”

And then they were soulbonded. And it was beautiful. 

~*~

Two weeks later Spock and Dobby had had sex a million and six times behind every bush and tree and lemonade stand they could find and were more in love than ever, but also getting a little tired. So they decided to watch the dragons for a while which was also romantic. 

“Let’s buy a summer house here.” Dobby said.

“It would be logical,” Spock agreed, “Since we love being here so much.”

And they sighed romantically and watched the sunset. 

“Let’s go to the beach!” Spock said suddenly. “We can have romantic sex on the sand!” 

“Good idea” said Dobby, and fetched some lube to keep in his pocket. 

On the beach they held hands and ran through the sand in slow motion to the last beautiful rays of the setting sun. 

“Oh Dobby loves you!” Dobby said,

“Oh I love you back!” Spock answered, and they were the happiest couple ever. 

~*~  
On their way back, they heard someone crying, so they went to check it out, secure in the knowledge that their love for each other would protect them from any harm. And that was good, for as it turned out the guy crying was being roared at by a gigantic beautiful golden bronze dragon.

“YOU SUCK!” the dragon roared, “YOU SUCK FOR BEING GAY! WANTING BUTTSEX MAKES YOU A SUCKY PERSON!” 

And then the dragon flew away, leaving the man behind to cry a single crystalline tear. That was pretty impressive, thought Spock, considering the mask and respirator the guy was wearing. He had to be very sad. 

And it was very unfair that someone would be that sad when Spock and Dobby were so happy together.

“That dragon is wrong!” Dobby squeaked. 

“And a very large bag of dicks!” Spock supplied. 

“I know.” Cried Darth Vader.

“Then why are you hanging around with him. You’re a big guy with a sexy voice, you don’t have to go around hanging out with lizards.” Dobby squeaked sympathetically. 

“We’re soulbonded.” Darth Vader explained, “I ran away from the empire because pope Palpatine and Luke Skywalker and Padme were oppressing my life choice of being a sith, and then I came here. But a dragon attacked me and the dickbag dragon saved me. He was really nice at first, but then we soulbonded and he found out that I’m gay, and he’s been a dick since.” And then he cried another single crystalline tear. 

“Well, then let’s un-soulbond you!” Dobby said. 

“You can do that?” Vader sniffed.

“Of course! Dobby had obligations! To wizards! Snape had lots of soulbonds, and Dobby learned how to sort it out.” he said with a beaming smile. “We need to go to the dragon’s nest to un-soulbond you. Or tumblr, but Dobby’s phone doesn’t have internet.” 

Neither Darth’s nor Spock’s phones had internet either, so they went back to the nest the dragon lived in, with all the other dragons and their soulbonds. 

It was a very beautiful place with spiraling towers and nests with gems, and an impossibly tall staircase that led to the higher nests. Oh yeah, and there was some chick in the background who put some bandages on a hurt guy but, like, who cares.

So they went up to the nest, where luckily the dragon wasn’t home.

“Okay,” Said Dobby, “You aren’t pregnant or have a heart disease or anything, right?” 

“My legs are prostethic, I have burns on 92% of my body, my suit is also a respirator that I need to live and I just got smacked around by a dragon. Is that a problem?” Darth Vader asked nervously. 

“Yes, that might be an issue. But it would be worse if you were pregnant.”

“What do we do?” Vader sobbed, “I can’t be soulbonded to that doodiehead forever!” 

“Dobby!” Spock said, “Maybe your healing cock can stabilize him long enough to do the magic spell!”

“Probably, but Spock, Dobby loves you and doesn’t want to be unfaithful.” Dobby squeaked. 

“It’s okay Dobby! Your magical healing cock was what brought us together, and Darth Vader really needs help. Besides,” he said with a coy glance, “He’s kind of hot.” 

And so they all decided to have a threesome. 

And as it turned out, Darth Vader sucked a mean dick! Which was pretty damn impressive, thought Spock, considering he was still wearing the mask. 

“Ohhh Darth Vader!” He moaned. 

Meanwhile Dobby was stuffing no less than four fingers up Darth Vader’s chocolate lovehole, marveling at the satine tightness. 

“Dobby’s going in!” He squeaked. 

“Yes, Dobby, fuck me in the butt!” Darth Vader moaned around Spock’s cock. 

Dobby thrust his elfhood into Darth Vaders quivering asshole and pumped, panting sexily. 

The sight made Spock moan, and his manrod twitch in Darth Vader’s mouth. Darth Vader moaned again, making Spock shudder in delight. 

“D-Dobby?” Spock mewled, “Can you un-soulbond Darth Vader?” 

And then Dobby cast the un-soulbonding spell on Darth Vader, freeing him from the gay bashing dragon. 

“Keep going!” Vader pleaded, and Dobby continued to ravage his bunghole with a steady rhythm. 

And it was just so, that when Dobby came with a shudder, makind Darth Vader moan, so that Spock came in streams all over his face mask, the dragon returned. 

“WHAT THE SHIT YOU GUYS?!” it roared, “ARE YOU HAVING GAY BUTTSEX IN MY DEN? YOU ARE SUCKY PEOPLE FOR HAVING GAY BUTTSEX!” 

“We were just…” Vader started, but the dragon interrupted him.

“YOU ARE COVERED IN GAY CUM! THAT’S THE WORST KIND OF CUM TO BE COVERED IN! FUCK YOU, YOU FAILURE OF A HUMAN BEING!” 

“Now, listen here…!” Dobby squeaked indignantly.

“YOU ALL SHUT UP YOU GAY HOMO SISSY FAGS! GET OUT SO I CAN YELL AT MY SOULBOND!”

“We are not soulbonded anymore! So there!” Vader yelled back. “You’re a big jerk, and I don’t want to be around you anymore, and I’m never sucking your dick again!” 

The dragon snarled in rage at being called out on it’s bullshit. “SHUT UP, OR I’LL HIT YOU SOME MORE!” 

“HAH!” Spock exclaimed, “It came out! The only reason you’re such a homophobic butt, is that you’re secretly gay and YOU’RE JUST JELLY!” 

“SO JELLY!” Dobby squeaked in agreement. 

And then the dragon burst into tears because it knew they were right, and it ran away and was never seen again, which totally served it right!

And all the people and nice dragons on Weyr were so happy and impressed that Spock and Dobby and Darth Vader got rid of the mean dragon that they threw a parade and made them brownies, and they had an awesome time having threeway sex until Spock and Dobby’s honeymoon was over. 

“Can’t you go with us?” Spock asked Darth Vader, gazing soulfully into those black eye things on his mask. “We’ve fallen so awfully in love with you.” 

“I’m sorry!” Darth Vader choked back a sob, “But I have to do this! You’ve taught me the power of love and now I’m ready to go back and tell the pope and Luke Skywalker and Leia and Padme that they should respect my life choice of being a sith!”

“Dobby will miss you!” Dobby cried. 

“I’ll always remember you Dobby! How your magic penis saved me from the dragon, and how sucking it a bunch cured my asthma.” He gave Dobby’s sexy ears a stroke, “Besides, I’ll totes come to visit you guys sometime, when I’ve told my family off.” 

And so Darth Vader rode the millennium falcon back to the death star, through the vast starry expanse of space, with new confidence and love in his heart.

Spock and Dobby returned to the Voyager, to have more adventures in space with Kirk and Scotty and the daleks and all those guys with rubber foreheads and borgs and junk. And they loved each other more than ever.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry 4 appropriating ppls experiences as dragons.


End file.
